Saturday’s shift felt like an assault. The babies coped well - no one got sicker or died - but some of the nurses reached and then exceeded their frustration tolerance. The night went on forever, while we struggled to do what usually came easily:
Umbilical vein catheters took aberrant pathways.
Veins blew.
Interruptions battled coherent thought.
Nothing went right.
Sunday night I asked my friend, Cheryl, a thirty-year Neonatal Intensive Care Unit veteran who has been recognized for clinical excellence (and who shared that bad shift), what nurses need to know.
She thought for a few seconds and said, “They need to know how to be at peace with the care they give.”
I asked her to explain.
She said, “You know – all of us – we’re only human. If we’ve done the best we could, we’ve got nothing to apologize for.”
She’s right.
Sometimes I have the mistaken idea that what I do here at work is about me. If a PICC fails to advance, I lament the end of “my streak.” And I do love a good resuscitation, but I sometimes wonder if it’s on account of the happy ending for the baby or because it made me feel so good?
Basing our self-image on success with procedures and pride in our skills is a huge mistake. After all, there are days when we’re the picture of efficiency, but despite our mad skills, the outcome stinks.
You know the saying – “the operation was a success but the patient died.” Does our stock go up when the IV goes in first stick? Or crash when it doesn’t?
And if we take personal credit for a patient doing well, do we also take credit when she doesn’t?
How do we see ourselves on a bad night?
What do we do with our failures – those times when nothing goes right?
Some suggestions:
You, me – all of us have flaws. Despite them, we do an awful lot of good. Like my friend said, we can be at peace with the care we provide.
In the end, all you can do is all you can do. Remember you’re human (and every shift ends).
Nurses, please leave a comment sharing your thoughts on this article!
About the Author: Suzanne Davenport Tietjen, RN, NNP-BC is a Nurse Practitioner, writer and shepherd. She takes care of tiny sick babies in the Neonatal ICU and a flock of natural-colored sheep at her family's century-old farm. Suzanne has written for nursing journals and Christian magazines, and has published two books, 40 Days to your Best Life for Nurses and The Sheep of His Hand.
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